write me
Mood:  hungry
i'm back! sorry i havent been around - keep e-mailing me!

dear lily,
i am soo stressed and my friend putting me down all the time does not help... she always is like telling me how i dont have a bf and rubbing it in my face and im sick of it... she makes it sound like im worthless and she is everything... and she talks about how shes had like 5 bfs and ive had none and that she kisses her bf all the time and stuff.. idk how much longer i can take it... i need to figure out how to handle this

thnx
shelly

Dear Shelly,
WOW! Bad friend. Honestly, this is how i see it. She doesn't seem to care that much about your feelings. Tell her that it makes you really upset when she say those things, and if she was really your friend she'll stop. Give her a chance to change, but either way i think you should start looking to make other friends who will treat you better. Boyfriends dont make you a better person, and you are not worthless. Concentrate on what makes you awesome, and if you're stressed? Find something relaxing like music or swimming.
Love, Lily
xoxoxoxoxo

Sweet Tangerine
Mood:  lyrical
Hi Lily,
I have this horrible habit of making people around me upset, be it from things i say, or from what i dont say. And its just getting really hard on me, i dont want people to feel this way, but i cant seem to stop it.
Its getting to the point where people dont bother talking to me, or i dont bother talking to them, because we all know how it will end. It doesnt just happen with my friends, but to people i talk to online aswell. Sometimes i question why i even bother trying, because nothing seems to work, its just how i am, and i dont know if i can change that. This makes me feel very lonely at times, as i cant even talk to anyone about it, because that also ends with them taking it the wrong way. I really just dont know what i can/should do.
Umm i hope that made sense.
Lost Kid.

Hey Lost Kid,
Actually, I feel that way a lot lately. My mom used to ask me why i couldnt just say 'OK' when she asked me to do stuff and now that i do she yells she wants to have a 'conversation' but I never know what I am supposed to say. I suggest you think before you speak and sort of try to edit what comes out of your mouth. Sort out what you want to say before you say it and if somone takes it the wrong way make sure they know thats not how you meant it! I was upset with my friend and used the word 'hate' loosely and she got really mad & sad. Then i realized 'crap i am so stupid'. Also, be honest because no one can really blame you for that, right? Keep trying to talk to people, practice with your family even. Maybe you'll grow out of your speech awkwardness.
<3, Lily

Momentum
Mood:  hug me
Dear Lily
what do you do when the person you hate the most is your sister?
Sweet Angel

Hey Sweet Angel,
Are you really a 'sweet angel'? ;) Its hard to get along with your sister, because they can be bratty and/or psycho. Hate is really really strong. If you hate your sister that much, just stay away from her whenever you can. Do things outside of the house, bury yourself in friends. Don't ignore the rest of your parents though. When your sister is being mean or annoying or whatever, tell her why you're mad *calmly* and then ignore her. Tell her you'll talk to her when she's nicer. And then be sickenly sweet to her so she cant possibly have a reason to be mean. That way, if your parents get in on it, you can't get in trouble. Eventually, you might even get along. Because, you can ditch your friends (though that's totally bitchy) but you.have.your.sister.Always. Maybe you'll be closer when you're older.
<3, Lily
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LILY
first of all thanks for giving advice =]

basically for the past year my life has sucked. i know my life could be worse but still. i had serious problems this past year. I struggled with bulemia, i spent most of the year cutting, and i was even put in a mental institution for being suicidal. A few years ago i was seen as a slut and preppy. Not to sound conceited but i was even voted most popular. Now adays nobody even wants to be near me. I dont get along with my family at all. And as far as friends go i dont have many. Real friends, i have one but even she hates me sometimes. I have a few other friends but i always have to fake around them. I hate doing it but its the only way for me to have friends. You see i am considered "preppy" or "fake" by all the scene/emo/goth/punk kids so they dont wanna be my friend. And i am considered scene/emo/goth/punk by everyone eles. I am just so confused!!! When i laugh i am a prep but when i cry i am emo. I want to know what you think and also some advice on how to get friends that i dont have to be fake to. please write back with advice.
<333
preppy emo kid

Preppy Emo Kid,
aww! That is a sucky year. Maybe the planets are aligned weird, because my year sucked, too. Are you ok with the buliemia now? This goes for everything you said: First of all you have to learn to love yourself. You'll be happier w. urself and overall. Plus, you may even gain some confidence back, which will help you get friends. Cutting + Buliemia + Suicide = Big Trouble. Those things wont help you at all. They wont solve your problems. For the friends...make sure you trear your one real friend nicely. Really, I think all you can do is be yourself and the right people will find you and accept you. Until then, be sweet to everyone, smile, and show ALL of your different sides. I hate how people label each other, but I do it too. Which is bad, Bad Lily! I cant help it though. But I dont look down on emos or preps. Be yourself, laugh and cry when you feel like it. Find out who you want to be and be it. I hope this helps.
<3<3<3<3<3<3!!!!
Lily Flower

Dear Lily,
Okay so I have severe issues with how I look. Like I HATE mostly everything about myself (except my hair). It started in like 6th or 7th grade where I would get made fun of by boys (including my ex-boyfriend) for not having a butt, and because I'm black, its like I'm supposed to have one. But I dont. So that made me cry ALOT. Also the fact that I have practically no boobs.

So then time went by and I became more loving of my petite body. Like I have OKAY with having no butt, or boobs. Then highschool rolls around and I start feeling self concious about my face.
Okay so people say I'm pretty/gorgeous whatever. I think I'm the ugliest thing EVER. There are so many pretty girls at my highschool, I just feel like shit, and I feel over looked. So I wear make-up. I started wearing making in 7th grade (for fun back then) and people then would call me like clown because I guess they weren't used to girls wearing make-up that young. But as I got older I started wearing it to feel more pretty. Sometimes my friend make fun of me and my "dark eyeliner".

They say I look better without make up. I think I look horrible without it and UGH.... I dont know

I'm a mess.
from Soonstar

ps
I forgot to mention that my friend says I'm getting fat....(size 3-5? Is that fat? :( )

so like, I'm not eating anymore.

It's totally weird because a couple years ago, all I wanted was a big butt. Now I want NO butt at all, because apparently I'm fat...
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Dear SoonStar,
Well, trust me on this one ok? Guys find ways to tease you NO MATTER WHAT. I dont know why. But girls at my school are teased for having no butts, no boobs, big butts, big boobs, whatever the guys dubb 'wrong' or 'imperfect', like they can nitpick us! I for one am constantly told by my friends how BIG my butt is (in a good way) (and i'm white). I didnt care, but then i felt really self-concious about it. But I just learned to love it, even if its unbalanced by my lack of boobs.
About your other looks: Well, if people really call you gorgeous? you have to try to see yourself through their eyes, and see your good features. And i dont know you (i think) or how much make-up you wear, but let me say this. Wear as little as you can. and definitly try to make it look *natural*. I don't see anyone at my school pulling off eyeliner. It can look good, but it doesn't really show off your eyes or enhance them wonderfully. If your friends really make fun of your heavy eyeliner, they may be trying to tell you kindly you wear too much w/o hurting your feelings. Not that you should always be that sensitive!
Being fat: I have a friend who honest-to-God thinks she is fat. She is so0o0o0o skinny, I go crazy. YOU have to decide if your gaining pounds that YOU dont want, not your 'friend'. A size 3-5 is FINE. If your actually unhappy that much, *dont* stop eating. Just lay off the junk foor and work out. Believe me, i'm the girl with anorexic AND bulemic friends. It doesnt help not to eat, its really just the lazy way out instead of exercising. Learn to love your body, and focus on the kind of person you're becoming INSIDE. That's what people who get to know you concentrate on. And give yourself some credit. My guys friends tell me that self-esteem is super-sexy, so I'm trying to work on that too.
xoxoxoxoxo Lily

MORAL: If you cant love yourself, how can anyone else love you?
(Besides the magic Five - Mom, Dad, God, Jesus, and Santa.)

Apples are so symbolic
Mood:  chatty
THOUGHT OF THE DAY
*Apples are so symbolic. But they aren't very good. Like Adam and Eve (apples did nothing for them) or the kid who's dad had to shoot the apple balanced on his head with a bow and arrow (forgot what that was called, or their names)and Desperate Houswives...idk. They don't even REALLY keep doctors away.

Anyways...back to giving adice
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Lily
There is this kid I used to hate. I would tease him and would push him out of the way at his locker since mine is right next to his. Then we started to become freinds because we would see so much of each other. Then last year I found out he had a big crush on me. It didn't really change our friendship though, I just pretended I didn't know. Then this year I realized I liked him as well. At Valentines day I gave him a ballon with candy our school sends to people. Now we can't even talk to eachother because we are too embarresed about the whole situation. Now we have our big end of the year dance. Now my friend likes him and I like him too. My freinds say he's going to ask me out but my freind might ask him out before I do. How can I get him to ask me to the dance?
Confused and in Love

Dear C & in L, (haha, nice abbreviation eh?)
Well, its good you were friends first. That is the foundation to every relationship. Well, it sounds like he knows you like him and he likes you too still? I take it thats the case. If your other friend likes him, that's fine because nobody officially 'owns' him. But she sounds like she's the take-charge type, and if she approaches him before he asks you, he might say yes because he is polite, and/or he doesnt have a date yet and cant give her an excuse. I say YOU ask HIM. The worst thing that can happen is he'll say 'no' nicely, and then you smile and tell him its ok. But i doubt he'd say no. I say you ask him, he'll say yes and you'll go to the dance together. I mean really, if all you have to go on is your friends saying he'll ask you out, out of my expierience those sources arent always the best. Who knows whats going through his head? Take charge and ask him before wither of you are asked first! After all, he may intimidated by asking you anyways, so make sure you're really nice to him. If you act shy, he may see that as distant and uninterested. So be happy, open and GO FOR IT!!!!
Love and Luck!
xoxo Lily

help...!
Mood:  hug me
*um, I spelled 'Question' wrong at the top of this webpage, does anyone know where I go to fix that?*
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There is this guy at my school. He is always talking about me. He always talks bad about me to my two best friends. I didn't even know that he had an issue with me until my friends told me. I don't know why he doesn't like me, or why he has a problem with me. When I called him and told him that he should talk to me and not behind me back, he just said, "I don't feel like talking right now" or he'll say "I'm busy" or "I'm too angry to talk". I just don't understand. He and I use to be cool. We weren't best friends or anything, yet he also didn't talk about me. Do you have any idea of what's going on? Let me know if you need more information.

hey,
wow. what a jerk! I know a kid like that...he complains about what I think on music, politics, calls me fake - and I don't talk to him anymore either! We used to hang out, and he was cool but he became a mega-jerk! So I just completly ignore him now. If he talks bad about you to other people, forget it. He's just making himself look bad. But if you really want to find out what's going on with this guy, you gotta talk to him in person. That way you can FORCE anwsers out of him, and he can't hang up on you. Make sure your friends are sticking up for you and telling this guy that dissing you isn't cool. That should get him to shut up.
<3, Lily Flower

Just a Reminder...
Mood:  flirty
hey people-
thanks for e-mailing me! Keep it up, i love it!
lo0o0o0ove,
Lily K.

'I'm Just A Girl'...I heart No Doubt
Mood:  caffeinated
Lily,
I had a boyfriend and it all went downhill from when we broke up I am wondering if the things that happened after were a sign that I messed up.
I got in a car accident less than a month after. We are starting to talk again though.
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Hopelessly Hopefull

Hopelessly Hopefull, (I love that Fall Out Boy song!)
I'm a little confused. What happened after the break-up that was a sign you messed up? If you are talking about the car crash, no way! That was a drivers' fault. Are you OK? It's good that you and your ex are talking again, because you want to stay friends, right? If you want to get back with him, be careful. If he doesn't feel the way you do, it could be sad again. I don't think the car crash was a sign, just unfortunate. I do believe in signs though - but I don't think you should look that closely into it. Keep you chin up kid. ;)
<3, Lily

I love being a girl
Mood:  rushed
This is from Jenni:
Well.. I'll give you the whole story so you know all the details and can advise accordingly.
I met this guy, Alan, through one of my friends. Now, at the time, both of them were dating. But when I found out that he was a junior just like me, and out of 6 teachers, 5 were teachers we both had (same teacher, but different class periods), I was happy because I wouldn't feel nervous/jealous around them when they were together because it gave us a lot to talk about. Well, that night we met, the three of us (three being him, myself, and my friend) were going to a thing at church. We piled in his truck, and he opened the door for ME, but not for my friend, who was his girlfriend at the time. This kind of made me think about things, but I shrugged them off, figuring he was just being polite.
Well, a few months pass, they break up, she tries to get back with him and he doesn't wnat to.. and she moves to Georgia, which was a relief for both him and me. Well, we (him and I) had both agreed that she (his ex-girlfriend) dated too many guys and would come off as a s***. We become closer and closer as friends, and I begin to like him.
One day, we're talking and he tells me that he has a girlfriend (which he still has to this day.) I know this, but I still like him. We had a junior luncheon a few months back (I believe in..March). I had seen him when I was going to get food, and we talk then he asks ME to sit with him at the luncheon, so I did. We sit and talk, and then we both walk off together from the luncheon since class was about to start. We talked about a few things, like how annoying his ex girlfriend (my friend) is, how his girlfriend was doing, whether he was going to prom, etc. Well, we're walking and I see one of my friends, so I talk to her for a few seconds. I happened to look over at him and he looked like he was either upset about something (which he didn't look like before), and then he talks with a few of his friends while I talk to mine.
My friend and I get done talking, and Alan notices, so he says goodbye to his friends and we continue to walk together.. and then the bell rang to go to our last class, and he gave me a hug before we went our separate ways. At this point, I still liked him and we were still really good friends, but he didn't (and still doesn't) know that I like him.
Well, in April, we go to prom, and I meet his girlfriend for the first time. What caught me off guard was that, instead of just introducing me as a friend, or saying, "Angela, this is my friend Jenni," he just flat out said, "Angela, this is Jenni."
I'm really confused about it all, and any advice would be greatly appreciated. I'm sorry this was so long.
Jenni

Jenni-
WOW. that was long. Jenni, Alan sounds cool. It stinks your not still friends with your 'ex-friend', though. That's always sad. Or maybe I'm just sentimenatal. Anyways, this is what I think. Are you ready? Alan is off-limits right now. I know you like him, but he has a girlfriend! He is someone elses'. However, it does seem like he MIGHT like you, but don't get too excited. Alan is sending you mixed signals. The opening-the-door-for-you and introducing you funny could be taken as anything really. For now, stay friends. Wait until Alan is ready (and single) until you go after him. And then GO AFTER HIM! If you really like him, fight for what you want, but make sure the signals he's giving you are more clear. Otherwise, your friendship may go down the drain. Keep him on your radar, but just in case? Keep an eye on other attractive males also (for prom - do you have a date yet?). 'Other fish in the sea' and all that.
I hope that helped!
<3, Lily Flower
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